Battles

1- who do you think you are ?
Tyondai : Tyondai
Dave : David Konopka, a generally ; all-around nice guy

2- what turns you on?
T : Justice
D : Sexuality

3- what is your favorite word?
T : Indescribable
D : Fuck (you can use it in so many different ways)

4- what sound or noise do you love?
T : humidifiers / fans
D : white noise on airplanes

5- have you driven anyone insane?
T : hhmmmm ?
D : of course, I have the tendency to take a long time to do the most mundane tasks, and anybody that has ever had the chance to witness this behavior has certainly experienced many levels of frustration

6- have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
T : Where ?
D : I`m confused, have you ?

7- what should everyone shut up about?
T : anna nicole smith
D : stop saying asap, it has gotten to the point where our culture moves so fast, that saying you need something asap is irrelevent

8- what advice should you have taken, but did not?
T : ‘cut the blue wire’
D : Seriously Dave, you should learn how to use a toilet !

9- what do you fear most?
T : fear itself
D : a venomous snake crawling out of my ass, biting my penis, and then proceeding to swallow me whole back into my own ass

10- how would you like to die?
T : old age, with a full military burial.
D : a venomous snake crawling out of my ass, biting my penis, and then proceeding to swallow me whole back into my own ass

11- what is your earliest memory?
T : cant remember
D : reaching over to get something from the breakfast table and spilling an entire pot of coffee all over my arm. I was 3, the coffee pot was a perculator, I was wearing a yellow turtleneck, my room was light blue and that shit (coffe) burned like hell.

12- do you collect anything?
T : records / albums nonstop
D : information

13- what is your most recent extravagance?
T : purchasing a belt with an LED readout that tells the weather
D : a not so recent deep tissue body massage

14- what five words best describe you?
T : abolutely, positively, four words.
D : totally unsummarizable in five words

15- what is your worst addiction?
D : caffeine

16- what were you doing at midnight last night?
T : funny you should ask. Missed my flight to do this interview and was crashing at Ned Becketts place in Berlin.
D : crying

17- who is your worst enemy?
T : me
D : Osama bin Laden

18- what do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
T : Failing without trying
D : It`s completely contextual

19- who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
T : Morgan Freeman
D : Holden Caufield

20- who are your favorite heroines in real life?
T : My girlfriend Grace, my mom, my sister
D : My lovely mother, my lovely girlfriend, and my lovely brothers

21- who would you have liked to be?
T : life personified
D : none other than myself. (I am Michael Jordan, right ?)

22- what did your last text message say that you received?
T : “Tyondai, heres your new flight information…. Sorry about that…“
D : I love you my big buddy !!!

23- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
T : Cant try to fail. If you try to fail and have acco,plmished what you set out to do, you have succeeded. The only thing this example shows is the person is a spinless weaking, unless its a plan for a larger strategy.
D : Succeeded

24- what are your weaknesses ?
T : Yeah - here let me run down the list in this magazine….
D : There are too many to list

25- Who is your art for ?
T : everything
D : myself and everyone

26- what was your proudest moment ?
T : moonwalking on the maury povich show
D : Playing shortstop for the New York Yankees

27- what was your last lie ?
T : `good idea’
D : Telling you that I played shortstop for the New York Yankees

28- what is your biggest challenge ?
T : being married to four grown men
D : successfully accomplishing all that I hope to accomplish at the highest possible level of quality that can be achieved

29- who's underrated / overrated ?
T : I dont know but perhaps we`ll be introduced sometime.
D : Jesus is totally overrated

30- do you have any magical power ?
T : The ability to complete French interviews
D : I have the ability fill an entire room with one fart

31- what is your most treasured possession ?
D : my health, it`s not a possession, but it`s treasured

32- what do your parent think of what you are doing ?
T : Amazingly supportive
D : My mom is very supportive/proud